Words of Wisdom from Martha Stewart

1 Mar

Until yesterday at around 1:00 in the afternoon, I absolutely could not stand Martha Stewart. I couldn’t stand her shows, her magazine, her attempts to assimilate the entire world into her WASPY image. I couldn’t stand how she decorated with pine cones and woven baskets, and mostly, I couldn’t stand how she’d become a gazillionaire out of such triteness. BUT THEN, I heard her play “Not My Job” with Peter Sagal on NPR’s “Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me!” As I listened to the podcast during my lunchtime walk, I laughed out loud AND I took note of one excellent piece of advice for every librarian out there. So as much as it absolutely pains me to do so, I’m going to say it – we librarians need to emulate Martha Stewart. Here’s why (transcript from the show, after MS has described for the audience how to easily get the seeds out of a pomegranate):

SAGAL: I want you to imagine that you’ve been invited by a friend, a close friend, somebody you’re very easy and casual with, over to dinner, and they take out a pomegranate and they start removing the seeds incorrectly. Could you…

STEWART: No, no, there are many ways to take the seeds out of a pomegranate.

SAGAL: All right.

STEWART: This is by far the quickest, fastest, most practical and neatest way to do it.


SAGAL: Let’s say that they are removing the seeds in a non-optimum way.



SAGAL: Could you, Martha Stewart, in that situation which I have described, stop yourself from telling them how to do it better?


SAGAL: You couldn’t do it.


STEWART: It would be hard. It would be hard.

SAGAL: You just don’t have that gear. You can’t just stop and go…

STEWART: No, but it’s fun. And they will love me forever…


STEWART: Because I have solved a problem, a lifelong problem of how to get the (bleep) oh, excuse me.


STEWART: The seeds out of a pomegranate.

Thus, the key to Martha Stewart’s success, and ultimately the success of all librarians who will follow her, is…



I still may not be the biggest fan she will ever have, but when someone teaches me a lesson and makes me laugh at the same time, I’m willing to re-think my position on them just a little. And if you need a good laugh, not to mention tips on pomegranates and garlic cloves, you can listen to the entire interview here.

7 Responses to “Words of Wisdom from Martha Stewart”

  1. Sheila Snow-Croft March 1, 2013 at 11:14 am #

    I can’t believe you are just now discovering Martha’s humor. I wanted to hate her for a long time, and then I watched her. And it doesn’t always come through, but she’s an absolute hoot when she wants to be! I decided I loved her when she did the credit card commercials (was it AmEx?) and tiled a pool with them. She’s delightfully tongue-in-cheek and wonderfully self-aware, and I have been told on more than one occasion that my attempts at crafts and clever home decor is like Martha Stewart on crack. I’ll take that as a compliment, thank you.

    • salgore March 1, 2013 at 11:24 am #

      I think the fact that I’d so convinced myself that I couldn’t stand her prevented me from watching her on anything for such a long time, Sheila. I’m sure if I’d seen how funny she was earlier, I’d have had a different perspective. I’m on it now, though. 🙂

  2. Pam Hastings March 1, 2013 at 11:33 am #

    I heard that broadcast last week and not only laughed out loud (especially at the bleeped part, because she was so funny yet matter of fact about it) but also tried the garlic bulb trick. It is awesome!

  3. Chris Fleuriel March 1, 2013 at 12:04 pm #

    I missed most of that part, but I was thrilled that she didn’t answer a single question in the quiz correctly. I’ll listen to the podcast soon. So not a Martha fan

  4. Michael March 1, 2013 at 4:49 pm #

    I heard the NPR piece and as others did just burst out laughing and like you have changed my mind about her. If more librarians were as forthright and assertive as Martha, we’d be much better at getting the ‘library agenda’ complete.

    • salgore March 1, 2013 at 5:04 pm #

      We can’t hold back, Michael! We’ve just gotta start telling our patrons how to get those seeds out of that pomegranate! 🙂

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